Oh, Those Questions

Do you ever feel like you're wasting time?  Like you aren't quite doing what God wants you to be doing?  Like you're stuck?  What am I supposed to be doing with my life?  Why is it so aggrivating to me that I can't know God's plan right away?

This semester has been super aggrivating for me.  Student Teaching has been highly beneficial and I feel like I am prepared to teach.  However, at the same time I am chomping at the bit.  I feel like I am wasting time.  I teach all day, work until six in the evenings, have class, planning, homework from my other classes, and am still expected to have a social life.  Being a very social person, the social life comes easy.  The teaching is fun and I look forward to it every morning. However, the classes, the homework, and the other mundane tasks that I keep running into just feel like roadblocks.  I am tired of jumping through hoops and "performing dog tricks" just to be successful as a teacher.  I feel like I am just going through the motions.  I do not like it. 

But I know God has something planned for me that is so much more than what I am facing now.  I have wonderful friends who put up with my rantings, a good school who looks out for me and my future, and a great family who has my back through it all.  I may not know exactly what God has in my future.  That scares me more than is imaginable.  I may not always be happy with where I am, but I know I am preparing for something incredibly amazing.  In truth, I have daily freak-outs about life and graduation.  I am scared to death!  I hate not knowing where I am going, or when, or with who, or whatever.  God has it all, and will guide it all.  As long as I have faith in Him, I know it all be okay.  Life will be awesome and I am as excited about living as I am scared.